When Usefulness Becomes the Measure of Worth

We've all heard it before: “Not useful, just throw it away,” or as my mother says in Chinese, “没有用就丢.” It’s practical advice when decluttering — broken umbrella? Toss it. Old USB cable saved “just in case”? Gone. It’s a Marie Kondo-approved life of efficiency, one many of us embrace, especially at year’s end.

‍

But what happens when we start applying that same thinking to living beings — people, pets, relationships?

‍

From Objects to Organisms: Where We Blur the Line

Over time, we seem to have stretched its meaning, internalising the idea that worth equals utility.

‍

It creeps into how we treat:

• Our seniors – once respected, now quietly sidelined when they “slow down” or “need help”.
• Our colleagues – judged not by who they are, but by how much they produce.
• Our pets – abandoned when they’re old, sick, or no longer “fun”.
• Our relationships – ghosted or dropped the moment they feel too inconvenient or one-sided.

‍

What we end up doing is brutal efficiency disguised as modern living.

‍

The Hidden Cost of ‘Usefulness’

When we reduce people and relationships to productivity, we lose more than connection — we lose empathy.

We start treating care as a transaction, presence as performance, and loyalty as optional. This mindset doesn’t stop at people. It shows in how we treat animals too. In Singapore, pet abandonment often spikes during holidays or in tough times. Once-adorable puppies or kittens are abandoned when they fall ill or grow old — because they’re “too much” or “not like before.”

Does this sound familiar?

It’s the same voice telling us to throw instead of repair, replace instead of relate, and move on instead of pause.

‍

What Would It Look Like to Stay?

The kind of usefulness we need today isn’t efficiency — it’s presence.

Imagine if we shifted the question from:
“Is this useful to me?” to:
“What does it mean to care, even when it’s not convenient?”

Because:

• Holding space for someone who’s struggling is useful.
• Giving time to a pet that’s ageing is love in action.
• Choosing to stay in connection, even when there’s no immediate return, is powerful.

So, What Now?

It’s tempting to be ruthless with time, energy, even emotions. But not everything 

or everyone needs to be justified by their output.

‍

If we keep living by “没有用就丢” (“it’s useless, just throw it away”), we risk building a world that’s clean, fast, and profoundly lonely.

‍

Maybe the challenge isn’t to throw less, but to see more.

‍

Parting Reflections

Before we declutter anything (or anyone) out of our lives, maybe ask yourself:

• Am I responding out of convenience or compassion?
• Have I given this relationship — or being — what it needs to grow?
• What does “value” mean to me, beyond usefulness?

At Green Nudge, we talk a lot about sustainability for the planet. 

But perhaps the harder conversation is about sustaining relationships, even when they don’t serve a clear function.

Because the real waste isn’t the broken thing or the slower person — it’s when we forget that care was never meant to be efficient.

‍